Our first week back to law school was spent being introduced to the various aspects of Dispute Resolution. I have been looking forward to this all year as it is something that I think I could really sink my teeth into once I graduate from the College of Law.
The program started out a bit slowly, but by day two, I was captivated. In spite of being anti-group work, I actually enjoyed and appreciated the opportunities that allowed us to role play in a mock dispute resolution scenarios. It also gave me a rare occasion to get to know more of my classmates, and even better, to meet and chat with some folks from the other section. All in all, the week was fantastic; the only down side was that I treated it like an extended vacation and did absolutely no school work. I am paying for that this weekend.
An interesting issue that came out of dispute resolution week was that I noticed how gender plays a tremendous role in collaborative law. In fact, I raised this, rather unsuccessfully, in one of the sessions. I observed that generally, men took a more aggressive approach in negotiation than women did. Of course there are exceptions, but overall, my observations were that men were using a very adversarial strategy, while women tended to go into the meeting with an intention that involved creating a collaborative atmosphere. I used a negotiation experience that I had personally participated in last fall: I was partnered with a woman, and our opponents were two men. Our strategy was to go in and have a discussion with the hopes of coming to a sensible consensus. We had a couple of strong interests that we hoped would come through, but we agreed that we would not present strong, positional arguments. Well, we were ambushed by two very confident, adversarial upper year students, and I felt the meeting overall was a tremendous failure in terms of actual negotiating.
I used this example in one of the sessions, and presented my argument that in some cases, gender must play a role in the negotiation dynamic. I was quickly dismissed, and the instructor even responded with, “So, all men are assholes? Is that what you are trying to say?” Of course I was stunned, because that was not what I was trying to say. Instead, I suggested that gender can’t be discounted; in fact, I believe it plays a significant role. I was assured by our instructor that gender means nothing within Dispute Resolution, and that I ought to let that one go.
To further support this, I noticed that in each session I attended that was led by a male and female, the male took the lead role and did most of the talking, regardless of whether the woman was the actual experienced mediator. Further, the women acquiesced and would physically fade into the background by either sitting down or leaning against the wall behind the man. The only exception to that was in one session where a female professor from the University of Manitoba School of Law was presenting; she ran the session and exhibited what many people might construe as “male traits:” loud, firm and confident. Most of the guys in my group disliked her; I thought she was fabulous.
All of this is to say that I became very aware of how gender doesn’t play much of a role within the context of the law. On its face, the legal theories are gender neutral. On the other hand, I am convinced that gender plays a pivotal role in Dispute Resolution. I am not sure what to make of this, other to consider examining it further to some capacity. I find it utterly fascinating, and would be curious to know what others’ experiences have been.
With the end of Dispute Resolution Week comes the end of my winter break. It’s time to get back to the grind, and frankly, I’m glad. I don’t function well with too much free time, and a strict schedule will be a welcome relief.
But first, an afternoon of cross-country skiing is at hand. Finally we have snow in Saskatoon! Two feet, to be precise. We have been waiting for five weeks for this to happen, and all of us can’t wait to get outside to enact “Project Embrace Winter.” It is a new family strategy that involves succumbing to the climate and abandoning the worn out strategy of resistance. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Until then…enjoy the fluff!
Wow, Stephanie. I am not a lawyer nor a professor, let alone a law professor, but I have been in a lot of negotiations and I agree with your thesis. I think two things are wrath added consideration.
When a negotiator of either gender begins with the behaviour of the other gender, it causes great confusion among the participants. When the woman is choosing the “male” approach, it usually produces the reactions you described above.
Secondly, when a person who has taken the low aggression approach does not give up their interests and pushes back in argument, the aggressors become very confused and frequently fall back on bluster rather than counter argument. Over a long negotiation, this leaves the aggressive participant with severely constrained options.
These observations may not hold up invariably, but they have often worked for me.
This was my first week of grad school, and I find your assessment of gender in negotiation surprisingly relevant to my situation. I’m in humanities, not law, but working in a group composed entirely of women, in a class composed entirely woman, overseen by a female instructor has not been the collaborative experience I expected. Many of my classmates seem to be intentionally fading into the background, while at the same time expressing resentment of position. WTF?!?! Obviously, I’m generalizing and haven’t known these women long enough to have any real idea of where they’re coming from. But c’mon now! Next week will be better….
I agree with you, Stephanie. I think I tried pointing that out last year, too, and was also shut down about it. It makes me wonder if in some instances the blinders are on and in order to maintain a facade of gender equality, we sometimes are told there are no differences. I try to say that being different is not the same as being unequal – it just means different. But I still don’t seem to be heard, sometimes. Maybe it’s because I am a woman and can easily fade into the background!